Writing Sucks

Waiting for inspiration to strike
Requires a lot of patience and immobility
In place of actual work, or so it seems
To me. For
If writing does depend on that flash of genius,
Nothing is happening here. I
Guess it’s more a matter of perspiration that
Success arises from; not the often mis-
Understood flash of brilliance that
Comes upon a person like lightning, but rather the
Knowledge that no work equals no writing equals no
Success. Simple, eh?

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Slowly Going Crazy

slowly going crazy
not like a fox
more a box of frogs
bouncing off the walls

sit down
stand up
sit down again
stand up
walk a bit
sit back down

watch TV?
as if the dozens of hours this week
weren’t enough

a movie?
my attention span has shrunk
to that of a goldfish’s memory

read?
three novels in four days
is about as much as I can manage

exercise?
alas not an option
work?
Oh I wish

write?
now there’s an idea

at least my
penthouse eyrie
is cool
literally and figuratively
on the hottest day
of the year

life is good
but I am
slowly going crazy

or am I

mwahahaha…

 

 

Time

I’ve been back home in England for almost eighteen months now, and I recently found myself thinking about how quickly time has passed and how, in such a short space of time, my life has changed so much.

I will never forget the day I asked God to come into my life, the catalyst for all the subsequent change, when I was emotionally  at the lowest point I’ve ever been. I won’t go into details, but at the time I could only see one option, and it was a path I would never have believed I’d have even considered a few years earlier. Some people say it’s the coward’s way. I believe it takes a great deal of courage. I didn’t have the guts to go through with it. Instead, I got angry, depressed and weak, blaming everyone else for my situation. Then I asked God for help, and everything changed.

Overnight, all the problems I believed were insurmountable became mere inconveniences. The depression and self recrimination melted away, and I felt free from burden for the first time in my life. I made solid decisions that were for my peace of mind, and stood by those decisions. I saw everything clearly rather than emotionally, and because of this I was able to do what I had to do to preserve my sanity and emotional well being. I came home.

Life certainly hasn’t been a bed of roses, far from it, but it’s my life.

I was lucky enough to find a job right away. I work very long hours, 12-15 hours a day, often seven days a week. I have made many new friends and have re-connected with old ones. I have family who love me, and I them. I have a new car, new apartment, new life, and I get to spend my free time however I wish. I am at ease with myself. Life is good. Life is God.

All it took was time.