Fucked Up

I fucked up
when I told a ‘friend’ I loved you.
I fucked up
when I told you.

My ‘friend’ stabbed me in the back.

You said I was ‘weird’ too.

“How could I love you
when I don’t know you?”

You don’t believe in love at first sight.

“Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight!
For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.”

6 thoughts on “Fucked Up

      • 30% more and Ill be 100% disabled. Larger amount of money a month from the veteran’s affairs and recognition of my chronic depression and PTSD. Hate the December holidaze… Throws me into a deeper depression. Almost over it. Hopefully I’ll be able to write when it’s over. Have you moved yet and if you did or didn’t where are you??That last question is tightening verbiage…Smile… And the world keeps turning regardless. Easier to type then accepting our insignificance to the bigger picture. Here’s hoping we can make a better place and stronger shoulders within our circle.
        Just a couple key strokes away,


      • Sorry to hear that, my friend. The holiday season is bitter-sweet for me too.

        At least people with depression and PTSD are getting their illnesses recognised now. Funny how a broken leg is never disputed but other ‘unseen’ illnesses are often scoffed at by the ‘healthy’.

        I’ve just taken down the tree and all the trimmings; clearing the decks for the new year. I too haven’t written anything; for a long time, except a few hastily scribbled pieces of verse. Feel like starting again now. I hope you get ‘back in the saddle’ soon; I find writing is very cathartic for me. (never liked that word, sounds so pretentious lol)

        I did move, back home to England in 2012. I now live in a small village, Shuttlewood, near the town of Bolsover where I was born and grew up. I intended to stay put but my job has taken me all over the UK, and world, in the last three years.
        …the best laid plans of mice and men…. Although I have travelled to some amazing places.

        We’re all significant in our insignificance, Michael. As long as we try to live our lives well we can say we’ve done okay; intention is everything.

        Take care, my friend. 🙂


      • I’ve lowered my personal expectations…for the time being. I am getting excited that this self induced coma is almost gone. It’s funny how helping people with depression, I seem to know the right answers they need to hear but I can’t get my fat biscuits out of the bag I created. c’est la vie

        The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition: DSM-5 finally recognized PTSD this addition… It started out as Shell shock or Traumatic Brain Injury.TBI They are working hard to find to how to treat It with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy CBT. Some outside the VA are using ecstasy and other hallucinogenics. to treat the returning heroes.

        The tree is in the box where it belongs. If you ever come to LA we’ll have to see if we can see each other.
        Great to hear your in back in a familiar place. There’s a certain amount of comfort being close to home.

        It’s good to hear from you but things has just changed.Two grandkids came over.
        As the world turns



      • Knowing how my life takes its twists and turns, Michael, I may well get to see LA one day and pop in to see you. 🙂


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